I Am Not...

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Sunday, December 6, 2009 | Published in

The easiest way to sleep at night is to carry on believing that I don't exist - Thom Yorke

I want to let you in on a little secret... I don't really exist. I know, that makes me sound crazy. If I don't exist then who is sitting here typing these words? Someone who is not.

I don't exist because existence implies a finished work. Existence means "to be". But I am not. I am becoming. I am changed from one second to the next. The mind is not a static being. Every new input changes the circuitry. At every moment my body is dying and being reborn. Every morning someone new is in my mirror. I will never be completed until I take my last breath.

Sacred Chao Te Ching, Chapter 32
Chaos cannot be labeled,
Because it contains all labels.
Therefore, all definitions are incomplete.
It's Gödels, all the way down.
Order and Disorder unite,
And Illusion slips into Chaos.
When people learn language, labels begin.
With labels, one should know when to stop.
Knowing when to stop, the wise spags see the Illusion;
And are free to create as they see fit.

Likewise no human can be contained in mere words. I am not the sum total of all of the labels that are attached to me. There is no box that can contain me. There is no program to map a person. There is no conceivable way to finish the sentence "I am..." I am not and I never will be.


  1. Fresh Heir said...

    Me too. But in my case, I'm just a blog comment. My entire existence is literally contained on the page you're reading. And a ghost of me in your head. Or something like that.

    December 7, 2009 at 7:23 PM

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