Discordians Demand Air Force Academy Close Christian Chapels

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Monday, February 8, 2010 | Published in

Several Discordian leaders today were outraged today by the announcement that US Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs has decided to allow pagan prayer circles close to where Christian chapels are already in place. They are asking their fellow Erisian Brothers and Sisters to cry out in protest over this affront to our nation's Discordian Heritage™. Rev. Thomas "Tommy" Reinard of the First Methodist Church of Discordia sent out this message:
What we label today as "pluralism," Eris called "idolatry." The first commandment from Eris was, "You shall have no other gods before Me. The rest are pure rubbish and usually drunk all of the time." There is no evidence that Eris has changed Her mind on the subject. To openly violate this most basic law is to invite Eris's judgment upon our nation. Eris has judged idolatry in the past through military invasions, earthquakes, floods, and an occasional attack of explosive diarrhea. The book of Omitterre Libellus prophesies that Eris will employ the same agents of Her wrath during the final seven years of earth's history. There is no reason to think Eris is on hiatus during this present age.

"But doesn't our Constitution demand that all religions be treated equally?' you might ask.

Since Eris is not an American, there is no reason to think She has a particular affinity for our ideas about the separation of church and state. Nevertheless, although the First Amendment guarantees the right of every American to worship however they choose, it does not require government to provide a chapel for Christians - even if the same government provides a stone monument to facilitate the worship of Eris.

I don't know the cause of the Haitian earthquake, the Indonesian tsunami or 9/11. But I can say without hesitation that any nation that officially embraces Christianity is openly inviting Eris's wrath.

This past week government officials testified they are "certain" of another terrorist attempt on our soil within the next three to six months. One would think this would be a good time to seek Eris's protection rather than kindle Her anger.

Hat tip to Right Wing Watch.

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