Tiger, Turn to Eris

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Wednesday, January 6, 2010 | Published in

The Daily Show started the new year with a bang and brought the Best F**king News Team Ever to discuss what new religion Tiger Woods should take up...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Best F**king News Team Ever - Tiger Woods' Faith
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Of course, I wasn't invited to the round table so Discordianism did not get a fair shake. (It never does.) That's why I would like to take this opportunity to offer Tiger the chance to become a worshiper of Eris, the goddess of Chaos, Discord, and Strife. Now Discordianism doesn't have the instant redemption with no real work, "Get Out of Hell Free" card that Christianity offers. Nor it doesn't have the fun, "Live a thousand lives until you get it right" reincarnation of Buddhism and Hinduism. It doesn't even have the cool beards and 72 virgins of Islam. (Tiger doesn't seem to be a fan of virgins anyways.)

However, what Discordianism has is the promise of infallibility, the ability to think for yourself (schmuck!), and all the hot dogs you can eat. Plus I've heard that chicks dig guys who can swallow their own nose. How could he possibly pass up an opportunity like this?

(h/t to the Invisible Pink Unicorn)

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