Turkey Day!

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Wednesday, November 25, 2009 | Published in

For Americans tomorrow is Thanksgiving, aka Let's Be Nice to the Injuns While They Give Us Food and Then Stab Them in the Back Later Day. The second name is hard to fit on cards so most of us just use the first name. It is time to give thanks that you only have to see your family a couple of times a year. It is also a day long feast to stuff yourself full of turkey and all kinds of carbohydrates. Because of this, it is a great time to try out your Patented Discordian Turkey Curse on the unsuspecting public:

Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly:

The results will be instantly apparent.
So get out there tomorrow and gorge yourself on the World's Stupidest Bird, pretend that you enjoy your family, yell at the Detroit Lions for being so horrible, and find something to be thankful for!

Random Thoughts

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Thursday, November 19, 2009 | Published in

Yeah yeah... I haven't been doing much lately. But I have a perfectly good excuse. I'm in the middle of a killer stretch at work: 17 days in a row, with several 12 and 13 hour shifts mixed in the middle. So I'm a bit run down and don't feel like clackety-clacking much. All I'm saying is that if you are planning on enjoying a nice fizzy beverage with your upcoming holiday meals: YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

Anyways, to tide you over here a few random thoughts, cool links, and shitz.

Jen over at Blag Hag has been doing a lot of interesting local (for me) stories lately. To summarize, Purdue has a homophobic librarian/professor that blogs at ClownHall, PZ Myers gave an interesting talk at Purdue, and Indianapolis Public Schools are currently blocking websites on Wicca, Witchcraft, Satanism, and atheism.

Random thought: Einstein was probably working on night shift when he came up with the theory of relativity. Working crazy hours where you don't know what year it is, let alone what day, can definitely make anyone think that time is relative and dependent on the observer.

Speaking of time: My current favorite Wikipedia page is the List of Musical Works in Unusual Time Signatures. I didn't expect a bunch of songs that I like to show up there. I'm starting to suspect that 5/4 is the best time signature ever. Check this list out: "Mars, the Bringer of War" by Gustav Holst, the Mission Impossible theme song, "Take Five" by the Dave Brubeck Quartet, "Happiness is a Warm Gun" by the Beatles, "15 Steps" by Radiohead, "Vicarious" by Tool, and, a song I now have more appreciation for, "Four Sticks" by Led Zeppelin. I'll give a special nod to "Shoreline" by Broken Social Scene which is in 7/4 and has some awesome vocals by Feist.

I've also been obsessed with a couple of British bands lately, Pulp and Psychedelic Furs. Pulp mainly because of the song "Have You Seen Her Lately?" Very underrated song, but I'm dying to hear someone do it as a country song. Actually, I think it would be pretty awesome in any genre, but country would be funniest. The Psychedelic Furs because I felt the weird need to go back and listen to a four month old episode of Coverville. Their lead singer Richard Butler confounds the hell out of me because he can write some damn good songs like "Pretty in Pink", "The Ghost in You", "Love My Way", and "Heaven" but then ruins them with his awful singing voice. They would have been an even bigger band in the 80s if they had bothered to hire someone else to sing.

Twitter stuff: I'm liking the new List option and hating the new Retweeting format. The lists are pretty handy for grouping your followers and keeping everyone straight. Much better than the Group format on Tweetdeck. It's been interesting to see what lists people have been putting me on. It's mostly Skeptic, Atheist, and Discordian. I'm still not sure why Maggie McFee (@tankgrrl) as a "vidnerd". I don't make videos and only occasionally link to them on Twitter. As for the rebooting of the ReTweeting: Fail! The previous system of having to copypasta everything wasn't cutting it but the current version isn't that great either. I would have been fine with a ReTweet button like almost all of the apps have. Stop complicating it, Twitter!!! As always, follow me on Twitter (@Jablair51), add me to all of your lists, TWEET ME BACK!

Ok, that's it for me now. I've run out of things to say. When my schedule gets back to normal I'll try to post more often with interesting stuff. Any question/comments, leave me a message. Goodbye!

Discordian Hymnal #019

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Tuesday, November 17, 2009 | Published in

Let us all rise and open our Discordian Hymnal to Page #019: "Liar" by Rollins Band.

23AE Gets a Reboot

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Friday, November 13, 2009 | Published in

Looks like one of the more popular voices for Discordia is going to do a reboot.

Important Transmission from Professor Cramulus:
23ae is a Discordian blog once run by Prince MuChao. You may remember him if you've read the Apocrypha Discordia.

It is, in my estimation, the most popular "Discordian" blog. It gets tons of hits from random Discordians who are not currently connected to this Discordian Society. When I was a young pinealist, I read every single goddamn thing on 23ae. It houses some good material, and a lot of fluff. It's where I first met Ratatosk, Broken AI, Dr Jon Swabey, The Other Anonymous, and the infamous Rev. Loveshade.

Prince MuChao never did much to moderate the site, he let everybody post pretty much whatever they wanted. That's how the place has a reputation (around these parts) for being what we would call "pinealist". But to be fair, it's hard to generalize about the users and content of the site. It's dead as a doornail right now, so there's nothing to generalize about.

Prince MuChao became frustrated with the place and backed off. He's a ghost now, only responding to about 1 out of 10 emails. Luckily, some people (myself included) have admin powers over there. I've continued to keep it warm, making sure I have something on the front page at any given time. I think I represent about 50-75% of the posts in the last year or so.

The other posts are either Loveshade posting info from his monthly snoozeletters, or DrJon posting about Discordian Holydays. It's fairly innocuous.

In the last six months the site has gone pretty much dead. There's about one post per month, and a half dozen comments.

So here's what I propose:

We can very easily transform 23ae into what we want it to be. All it would take is one post every few weeks or so to maintain a presence on the site. I guarantee that this will generate more attention for whatever it is we post about.

Cramulus sent this message out yesterday and has already gotten a number of volunteers to help with the effort. I think 23 Apples of Eris can once again be an important rallying spot for Discordians. If you are a Discordian author, designer, artist, archivalist, or otherwise would like to help in some way then be sure to get ahold of Professor Cramulus or join in the discussion at the Principia Discordia forums. If you don't have anything to add, just follow along with your favorite RSS feed and comment whenever you get a chance. Discordianism works best when everyone participates.

RAW on Language

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Thursday, November 12, 2009 | Published in

I just rediscovered this interesting clip on YouTube about Robert Anton Wilson and his thoughts on language. He does a good job of explaining e-prime, which is English without the use of the verb "to be". It's a tough speech pattern to pick up but can do wonders for your outlook on the world. When you stop focusing on what something "is" and start focusing on how it "seems" the less dogmatic your thoughts become. At the very least you get in less fights that way.

The Book of Dirty Tricks

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Sunday, November 8, 2009 | Published in

One of my most popular posts that still gets hits almost daily from Google was my piece on the OSS Simple Sabotage Manual from back in June. Since it was such a big hit with everyone I thought that I would post another interesting government document about fucking things up on purpose. This one is from the child of OSS, the Central Intelligence Agency. It is a little bit more nefarious than the Simple Sabotage Manual too. While The SSM merely talked about breaking machinery and gumming up the cogs of bureaucracy, the CIA Book of Dirty Tricks advises chemical warfare, fraud, property damage, and other downright nastiness. For instance:
Classified advertisements in your local newspaper are inexpensive little bullets that can cause major wounds to the mark's psyche if properly aimed. For instance, suppose you had a score to settle with some bitchy neighbors. You could insert a classified ad to "sell" their automobile. Price it five hundred dollars less than market value, instruct callers to call after midnight (shift work is the explanation you can offer), and explain in the ad that quick cash is needed for an emergency. That will bring in the phone calls.
And that is one of the tamer entries. Most of it is mean-hearted stuff that will easily gain you scads of enemies and/or jail time. Still, it is an interesting read that let's you see inside the brain of a sociopath bent on revenge. Enjoy!

CIA Book of Dirty Tricks

(As always, ChaoSkeptic does not advocate you doing anything mentioned in this document. Especially since most of it is highly illegal and immoral. Plus some of it is outdated and/or intentional misinformation. If you end up in the slammer I will not come bail you out.)

St. Gaga of the Gays

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Wednesday, November 4, 2009 | Published in

I was so busy on Sunday that it completely slipped my mind that it was All Saint's Day. As you may or may not know Discordians have a tradition of canonizing people (both real and imaginary) that we feel best exemplify the Discordian virtues of Chaos, Discord, and Strife. This honor has been bestowed upon such varied peoples as Emperor Norton I, George Carlin, Ed Wood, Jarvis Cocker, George W. Bush, and Charles Darwin. Today I feel that the List of Saints needs to be expanded to include Ms. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, known to you Earthlings as Lady Gaga.

Now, you may ask: "Rev. Ouabache, why would you pick a dumb old pop singer to be a Discordian saint? Aren't there any half-witted politicians that are better at pushing the Chaos Buttons?" Sure, politicians are always fun to poke at but Lady Gaga has hit a larger (and younger) audience than any politician ever could. She is the perfect agent of Operation: Mindfuck. She is an odd combination of one part Xtina, one part Björk, and one part KLF. An extremely talented singer with a ridiculous sense of style that isn't afraid to fuck with her audience's sensibilities. And as The Vigilant Citizen has recently pointed out in a two-part series, she is puppet of the Illuminati who wields symbolism like a scalpel.

At the very least she deserves sainthood for her performance of "Paparazzi" at this year's MTV Video Music Awards. It is beyond my ability to describe the massive mindfuckery she was able to put into a 4 minute long dance number. The last minute of which still hits me straight in the gut and produces feelings of horrormirth that I previously thought were impossible. The fact that she was able to pull it off in front of such a large and luminous audience just boggles the mind.

So with the power invested in me as Holy Pope of Eris, the goddess of All Chaos, I dub thee St. Gaga of God and the Gays. Here's to hoping that Fame and Power don't go to your head and that you don't get fat and stupid like Britney.

Discordian Hymnal #018

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Sunday, November 1, 2009 | Published in

Let us all rise and open our Discordian Hymnal to Page #018: "Philosophy" by Ben Folds Five.