My personal stance is that puns are never funny. They can be clever but never enough to get a laugh. More often than not they induce a groan instead. That being said, this clip from The Bugle podcast is impressive in a sick and twisted kind of way:
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Puns are a Disease
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Tuesday, June 7, 2011 | Published in language, larf, podcasts, video
America's Most Hated Family In Crisis
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Sunday, April 10, 2011 | Published in Christianity, language, memes, religion, skepticism, troll, video
Yeah, I'm being lazy and making my fifth post in a row with a video. I think this one is worth it though. It's the first part of a news special by British journalist Louis Theroux about the Westboro Baptist Church. WBC, of course, is the hyper-fundamentalist group run by Fred and Shirley Phelps that likes to picket places with signs that say "God Hates Fags". I'm torn about the group personally. I feel that they have a first amendment right to picket in public and hold up whatever hateful slogans that they want. (Their Supreme court case is touched on briefly in this program.) On the other hand, I feel that they are attention whores who are experts at trolling the media. They almost always draw counter-protests that are 10-100 times bigger than they are. If everyone ignored them they would eventually go away.
However this special does do a good job of humanizing them. For the most part Louis Theroux let's them speak their minds and occasionally probes them with questions. He disagrees with him but doesn't yell at them, which is what almost everyone else would be tempted to do. Most of the interviews are with the younger female members, and several female members that have left the group.
The eeriest part of the whole special is that I actually understood the Christianese that the members were using. While growing up I attended Methodist, Baptist, and Pentecostal churches. The fire-and-brimstone I heard back then isn't radically different from the stuff coming out of Shirley and her daughters' mouths. Yes, they are on the very very far end of the bell curve but they share more in common with your everyday fundamental, Sola Scriptura Calvinist than they do with me. (If you look very closely you will see a TULIP poster behind Fred while he is preaching.)
The thesis that Louis is trying to pull out of the special is that the WBC group is losing members because their religious beliefs are robbing them of their humanity. The girls are not able to date, the boys aren't allowed to have friends outside of the family, the parents aren't allowed to talk to their children once they are exiled from the church. Strangely none of them seem to be angry or intentionally hateful. Their language is toxic but never venomous. The memes of their religion have taken over their minds and they don't even realize what is coming out of their mouth anymore.
Even weirder is that the Evaporative Cooling of Group Beliefs effect does not seem to be in play here. I think Fred's beliefs were so out there to begin with that "cooling" them even further doesn't nothing at all.
I'll just embed part one and link to the rest:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
However this special does do a good job of humanizing them. For the most part Louis Theroux let's them speak their minds and occasionally probes them with questions. He disagrees with him but doesn't yell at them, which is what almost everyone else would be tempted to do. Most of the interviews are with the younger female members, and several female members that have left the group.
The eeriest part of the whole special is that I actually understood the Christianese that the members were using. While growing up I attended Methodist, Baptist, and Pentecostal churches. The fire-and-brimstone I heard back then isn't radically different from the stuff coming out of Shirley and her daughters' mouths. Yes, they are on the very very far end of the bell curve but they share more in common with your everyday fundamental, Sola Scriptura Calvinist than they do with me. (If you look very closely you will see a TULIP poster behind Fred while he is preaching.)
The thesis that Louis is trying to pull out of the special is that the WBC group is losing members because their religious beliefs are robbing them of their humanity. The girls are not able to date, the boys aren't allowed to have friends outside of the family, the parents aren't allowed to talk to their children once they are exiled from the church. Strangely none of them seem to be angry or intentionally hateful. Their language is toxic but never venomous. The memes of their religion have taken over their minds and they don't even realize what is coming out of their mouth anymore.
Even weirder is that the Evaporative Cooling of Group Beliefs effect does not seem to be in play here. I think Fred's beliefs were so out there to begin with that "cooling" them even further doesn't nothing at all.
I'll just embed part one and link to the rest:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Why Immortality Would Suck
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Wednesday, March 30, 2011 | Published in denialism, discordianism, evolution, irreligion, language, larf, memes, politics, skepticism
(Comic via SMBC.)
At some point in the future mankind will figure out how to live forever and I am convinced that that is what will cause the final destruction of our species. I know that sounds contradictory, but just hear me out.
Society currently has a way of refreshing itself every 20 years or so and that it called "Kill off the old fuckers and make some new babies." It's not the most efficient method in the world but it has served us well for the last several millennia. This is caused by strange bit of brain chemistry. Almost all of your beliefs about the world are set by your mid 20s. Not set like concrete but set more like a tasty jello mold. Your brain is done being bombarded with hormones from puberty, your pineal gland calcifies around the age of 23 (fnord!), and after that it is almost impossible to change someone's view of the world. Once you hit your 30s you are set in your ways and your personal narrative is a third of the way down its path.
What's good about this though is that during their teens and twenties most people are open-minded, liberal, tolerant, and willing to consider new ideas and try new experiences. Every generation says, "Let us strive to be better than our parents!" But also says, "Hey, let's not take this too far." And so, society changes by generational quanta. Things never progress steadily but in small leaps. And not always for the best but always in a new direction. Each generation has their own memes, causes, art, and beliefs that makes the culture has a whole just slightly different.
Immortality would mess this up is that we would miss out on the "Kill off the old fuckers" part. People with antiquated ideas would linger on for eternity. Just imagine your grandparents not only alive but healthy, active, of sound mind, and eager to vote. Ok, now imagine your great-grandparents alive, healthy active, of sound mind and eager to vote. And now your great-great-grandparent. And so on. Immortality would change the average age of humanity, if not the mean age. Over time young people would be forced out of the marketplace of ideas. We would have the equivalent of not only geocentricists, as in the comic at the top of the screen, but also people who still think slavery is a great idea, that women should never leave the home, and think that germs are "just a theory". (Wait, we still have the last two.)
At any rate, society would quickly stagnate. New ideas would never stand a chance. We would repeat the same memes for eternity. Nothing of interest would be produced without everyone complaining about how derivative it is. Hopefully people would refuse the immortality treatment or start to kill themselves out of sheer boredom.
Tone It Down!
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Thursday, January 27, 2011 | Published in activism, discordianism, language, memes, meta, skepticism
If you didn't notice, a lot of time on the internet last year was dedicated to the topic of "tone". Not the musical pitch changes kind but the literary "how-an-author-treated-his-audience" kind. Whether is was skeptics telling each other to not be dicks or accommodationists telling New Atheists to not scare people away or subreddits calling each other circlejerks or Discordians fighting with each other about how best to get our message out or even every single forum complaining that content used to be so much better, everyone spent a lot of time in 2010 picking the lint out of their own belly buttons. No matter where I turned it appeared that everyone was trying to have deep meta-conversations about how best to communicate with one another.
And all of those conversations were shit. I'm not going to include any links in this post because I feel your time is too important to waste on such trivialities. All of them can be summed up as followed:
A: "You should be nicer to people. People like it when you are nice to them."
B: "Whateva! I do what I want!!!"
As a Discordian I am all for internal strife because it helps to get rid of the riff-raff and pantywaists who weren't going to put in any effort anyways. But at some point you have to stop having committee meetings and backstabbing contests and get shit done. If you notice, while everyone was talking amongst themselves about how best to get their message across no one was actually working to get the message across. An outsider who came along wanting pertinent information was met with a bunch of monkeys throwing shit at each other.
The thing is no single tone works to get the message across. No two people communicate the same and no two people receive messages the same. What works in one situation might not work in another. We need as many voices as possible translating the message into their own personal language. We need people saying that Christians can believe in evolution as well as people saying that the Bible is all bullshit. Yes, being nice attracts people to your side but being a dick is more entertaining.
So please, for the sake of everyone can we stop fucking yelling at each other and go back to yelling at the world?
And all of those conversations were shit. I'm not going to include any links in this post because I feel your time is too important to waste on such trivialities. All of them can be summed up as followed:
A: "You should be nicer to people. People like it when you are nice to them."
B: "Whateva! I do what I want!!!"
As a Discordian I am all for internal strife because it helps to get rid of the riff-raff and pantywaists who weren't going to put in any effort anyways. But at some point you have to stop having committee meetings and backstabbing contests and get shit done. If you notice, while everyone was talking amongst themselves about how best to get their message across no one was actually working to get the message across. An outsider who came along wanting pertinent information was met with a bunch of monkeys throwing shit at each other.
The thing is no single tone works to get the message across. No two people communicate the same and no two people receive messages the same. What works in one situation might not work in another. We need as many voices as possible translating the message into their own personal language. We need people saying that Christians can believe in evolution as well as people saying that the Bible is all bullshit. Yes, being nice attracts people to your side but being a dick is more entertaining.
So please, for the sake of everyone can we stop fucking yelling at each other and go back to yelling at the world?
I'm Sorry You Were Offended
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Friday, January 14, 2011 | Published in irreligion, language, larf, satire, troll, video
Applied Ignosticism
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Tuesday, June 29, 2010 | Published in atheism, Christianity, irreligion, language, religion, skepticism
If you've been following me long enough then surely you remember my post on ignosticism, the belief system that says that the term God is meaningless. Personally, I don't think that I did the concept justice but I was young at the time and felt that the idea needed to be out there so others can know about it (plus it got me featured in the Skeptics' Circle so it wasn't all bad.
I wanted to revisit the idea because it occurred to me that it's not just the term "God" that is meaningless but there are many other theological terms that are equally nonsensical or under-defined.
Take for instance "heaven" and "hell". I believe that the current definitions for the two are "spending eternity in God's presence" and "spending eternity separated from God" respectively. (YMMV, since some have an idea of heaven that includes pearly gates, fluffy clouds, and streets of gold while hell is either fire and brimstone or a cold grave.) Notice that both of definition are dependent on the concept of God, which we've already said is undefined.
Another fuzzy term is "sin". Sin is typically considered "an action or thought that goes against God's Will". But how can we know what is God's will if we don't even know who he is? At this point we are all just guessing about what he wants.
To give you an example of the effect all of these ill-defined terms have on theology discussions I will take a paragraph that I was recently able to provoke over at Yahoo Answers. God is now "Lof". Heaven is now "Nevel". Hell is now "Nimm". Sin is now "wub".
Clear as mud, isn't it? I don't know how that could possibly make sense no matter what words you put in the place of God or hell. Add to it all of the mental wankery that is "free will" and that paragraph isn't even worth reading. This is why I see most of theology a waste of time. It's nonsense talk to give comfort to the ignorant masses.
I'll leave you with a real definition provided by Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary:
I wanted to revisit the idea because it occurred to me that it's not just the term "God" that is meaningless but there are many other theological terms that are equally nonsensical or under-defined.
Take for instance "heaven" and "hell". I believe that the current definitions for the two are "spending eternity in God's presence" and "spending eternity separated from God" respectively. (YMMV, since some have an idea of heaven that includes pearly gates, fluffy clouds, and streets of gold while hell is either fire and brimstone or a cold grave.) Notice that both of definition are dependent on the concept of God, which we've already said is undefined.
Another fuzzy term is "sin". Sin is typically considered "an action or thought that goes against God's Will". But how can we know what is God's will if we don't even know who he is? At this point we are all just guessing about what he wants.
To give you an example of the effect all of these ill-defined terms have on theology discussions I will take a paragraph that I was recently able to provoke over at Yahoo Answers. God is now "Lof". Heaven is now "Nevel". Hell is now "Nimm". Sin is now "wub".
Nimm is a place of eternal separation from Lof, and people go there when they die because they chose to separate themselves from Lof while living on earth. Lof created us with a free will to make our own choices and separating ourselves from Lof is one of the choices we are free to make. Our free will is a wonderful gift from Lof in that he does not force us to love Him or to follow him. With out our free will, we would be nothing but puppets or robots, which does not please Lof, and certainly does nothing to better our lives. While Lof desires that everyone would choose to love him, many people will choose not to. These people will die in their wubs and be separated from Lof forever in hell. Man from the beginning has Lof’s law written in his heart, and has the power to obey it, and yet was capable of disobeying, being left to the freedom of his own will. Man was created with holy character prompting him to holy actions; but man was fallible, and did fall from his integrity. Many would say that this is unfair, and that a loving Lof would never set up a system such as this; it is precisely God’s love for us, and the fact that He is perfectly just, that tells why nimm exists, and why men and women will choose to go there. Lof loves us so much that He respects our freedom of choice. If we choose not to love Him, then why would He want us to live with Him eternally in Nevel? Wouldn’t living for eternity with someone we don’t love be a kind of nimm any way? Lof wants to spare those people who don’t love Him from having to live with Him and be under His rule for eternity.
Clear as mud, isn't it? I don't know how that could possibly make sense no matter what words you put in the place of God or hell. Add to it all of the mental wankery that is "free will" and that paragraph isn't even worth reading. This is why I see most of theology a waste of time. It's nonsense talk to give comfort to the ignorant masses.
I'll leave you with a real definition provided by Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary:
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Discordian Chain Letter
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Wednesday, June 23, 2010 | Published in Christianity, discordianism, irreligion, jake, language
=========================DO NOT MODIFY THIS TEXT=============================
Do you know who in 1923 was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
These men should have been considered some of the world's most sucessful men.
At least they found the secret of making money. Now more than 46 years later,
do you know what has become of these men?
1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.
2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane.
3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from prison
to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, t.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.
The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship,
Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments. Today he is still
playing golf and is solvent.
CONCLUSION: STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START WORRYING ABOUT THE
ILLUMINATI
===========================KEEP THIS LETTER==================================
This letter originated in Sweden the home of the Illuminati, has been passed
around the world at least 23 times, bringing discord to everyone who passed it
on. Do not pass this letter around. Print it out and leave it randomly on
random objects in random places. Finally, bury a copy of this in a glass jar
in your back yard with $0.01c of american currency. We will contact you within
5 days at this point.
=======================DO NOT KEEP THIS LETTER===============================
Print out at least 23 copies of this letter and leave it everywhere. Staple it
to poles in the dead of the night, put it under windshield wipers in parking
lots, stack it in free newspaper dispensers, give it away! Introduce your
neighbors to chaos! Everyone who hands out at least 23 copies of this letter
will be smiled upon by Eris and is officially immune to the Illuminati. The
more copies you send out, the more immune you are! Imagine finding money on
the streets! Get Free Food! Get Gorgeous Babes and/or Handsome Men!* Win the
Lottery! Stop wars in foreign countries! Confuse the hell out of first, second
and third souled beings! Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia! Anagram this phrase!
Et In Arcadia Ego...*
=============================KEEP THIS LETTER================================
It will change your life! Bring the four angels to your aid with this letter!
Do it for the Widow's Son! Do what thou will. Remember, Bill Shakespear's
birthday is 4/23, and thats the same day as Discordian Day! Especially if it
falls on a Friday! Eat a hot dog on a bun For eris! NOw foR something
completely Different. Praise Bob, for he is Eris' brother! Did you know that
Joeseph was a Freemason? George Washington was actually Adam Weishaupt?
Jesus didnt die on the cross? Read the Nag Hammadi Manuscripts! Bring back
the Knights Templar! Achieve Gnosis! Get a really good fuck. Answer these
questions for yourself...*
1. Who was Adam the son of?
2. Does God have an opposite?
3. How many sons of God are there?
4. Are the sons of God also Gods?
5. Are any sons of God less than others?
6. What is the goal of prophets and teachers?
7. How many minds are there?
8. What is a human being?
9. Is mankind finished or in process?
10. How much can we and should we attempt?
11. What is the purpose of consciousness?
12. What is the next step?
=============================BURN THIS LETTER===============================
This is Sirius business.
AAAOOOOZORAZZAZZAIEOAZAEIIIOZAKHOEOOOYTHOEAZAEAOOZAKHOZAKHEYTHXAALETHYKH
If you see the mad fishmonger, give him my regards.
IO PAN IO PAN PAN IO PANGENITOR IO PANPHAGE!
Schrodinger's cat and Wigner's friend
Cause us problems without end
The cat is both alive and dead
In math that's in our head
And the regression of Von Neumann
Never ceases to annoy Man
The uncertainty just has no end
Until Wigner goes to tell his friend
For, until the friend receives the news
That the cat still purrs and mews
The cat remains (suspended Fate!)
In some formal Eignstate
But if Wigner makes a beeline
To report the now-dead feline
All the friend can really know
Is just one branch of time's swift flow
For in Carter's multispace
Every time-brance has its place
So the cat remains alive
In the half cases (That's .5)
Lead us not to Copenhagen
Nor to Shylock, nor to Fagin
"The result's not parsimonious!"
Yet I find it quite harmonious
===============================EAT THIS LETTER================================
^L^L^L
* What? Sexual preferance? How Droll.
^L
* Its in Latin and so is the answer.
^L
* Check these references for insight..
1) Luke 3:38
2) Exodus 3:14, Ephesians 4:4-6
3) Romans 8:14-17
4) John 10:34
5) Colossians 3:4
6) Ephesians 4:11-13
7) Deuteronomy 4:39, Exodus 3:14
8) Genesis 1:26
9) John 3:2
10) John 14:12
11) Corinthians 9:8, Luke 12:32
12) Romans 8:19
p.s. Don't believe anything you read.
begin 600 whoami
5;F5P=7)K8F5P=F9G0'=H="YJ F4*
`
end
=============================MODIFY THIS TEXT==================================
h/t to Telarus who discovered this at Totse.com
Do you know who in 1923 was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?
These men should have been considered some of the world's most sucessful men.
At least they found the secret of making money. Now more than 46 years later,
do you know what has become of these men?
1. The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.
2. The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, is insane.
3. The President of the N.Y.S.E., Richard Whitney, was released from prison
to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, t.
5. The President of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died of suicide.
The same year, 1923, the winner of the most important golf championship,
Gene Sarazan, won the U.S. Open and PGA Tournaments. Today he is still
playing golf and is solvent.
CONCLUSION: STOP WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND START WORRYING ABOUT THE
ILLUMINATI
===========================KEEP THIS LETTER==================================
This letter originated in Sweden the home of the Illuminati, has been passed
around the world at least 23 times, bringing discord to everyone who passed it
on. Do not pass this letter around. Print it out and leave it randomly on
random objects in random places. Finally, bury a copy of this in a glass jar
in your back yard with $0.01c of american currency. We will contact you within
5 days at this point.
=======================DO NOT KEEP THIS LETTER===============================
Print out at least 23 copies of this letter and leave it everywhere. Staple it
to poles in the dead of the night, put it under windshield wipers in parking
lots, stack it in free newspaper dispensers, give it away! Introduce your
neighbors to chaos! Everyone who hands out at least 23 copies of this letter
will be smiled upon by Eris and is officially immune to the Illuminati. The
more copies you send out, the more immune you are! Imagine finding money on
the streets! Get Free Food! Get Gorgeous Babes and/or Handsome Men!* Win the
Lottery! Stop wars in foreign countries! Confuse the hell out of first, second
and third souled beings! Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia! Anagram this phrase!
Et In Arcadia Ego...*
=============================KEEP THIS LETTER================================
It will change your life! Bring the four angels to your aid with this letter!
Do it for the Widow's Son! Do what thou will. Remember, Bill Shakespear's
birthday is 4/23, and thats the same day as Discordian Day! Especially if it
falls on a Friday! Eat a hot dog on a bun For eris! NOw foR something
completely Different. Praise Bob, for he is Eris' brother! Did you know that
Joeseph was a Freemason? George Washington was actually Adam Weishaupt?
Jesus didnt die on the cross? Read the Nag Hammadi Manuscripts! Bring back
the Knights Templar! Achieve Gnosis! Get a really good fuck. Answer these
questions for yourself...*
1. Who was Adam the son of?
2. Does God have an opposite?
3. How many sons of God are there?
4. Are the sons of God also Gods?
5. Are any sons of God less than others?
6. What is the goal of prophets and teachers?
7. How many minds are there?
8. What is a human being?
9. Is mankind finished or in process?
10. How much can we and should we attempt?
11. What is the purpose of consciousness?
12. What is the next step?
=============================BURN THIS LETTER===============================
This is Sirius business.
AAAOOOOZORAZZAZZAIEOAZAEIIIOZAKHOEOOOYTHOEAZAEAOOZAKHOZAKHEYTHXAALETHYKH
If you see the mad fishmonger, give him my regards.
IO PAN IO PAN PAN IO PANGENITOR IO PANPHAGE!
Schrodinger's cat and Wigner's friend
Cause us problems without end
The cat is both alive and dead
In math that's in our head
And the regression of Von Neumann
Never ceases to annoy Man
The uncertainty just has no end
Until Wigner goes to tell his friend
For, until the friend receives the news
That the cat still purrs and mews
The cat remains (suspended Fate!)
In some formal Eignstate
But if Wigner makes a beeline
To report the now-dead feline
All the friend can really know
Is just one branch of time's swift flow
For in Carter's multispace
Every time-brance has its place
So the cat remains alive
In the half cases (That's .5)
Lead us not to Copenhagen
Nor to Shylock, nor to Fagin
"The result's not parsimonious!"
Yet I find it quite harmonious
===============================EAT THIS LETTER================================
^L^L^L
* What? Sexual preferance? How Droll.
^L
* Its in Latin and so is the answer.
^L
* Check these references for insight..
1) Luke 3:38
2) Exodus 3:14, Ephesians 4:4-6
3) Romans 8:14-17
4) John 10:34
5) Colossians 3:4
6) Ephesians 4:11-13
7) Deuteronomy 4:39, Exodus 3:14
8) Genesis 1:26
9) John 3:2
10) John 14:12
11) Corinthians 9:8, Luke 12:32
12) Romans 8:19
p.s. Don't believe anything you read.
begin 600 whoami
5;F5P=7)K8F5P=F9G0'=H="YJ F4*
`
end
=============================MODIFY THIS TEXT==================================
h/t to Telarus who discovered this at Totse.com
Brits, Explain Your Fucked Up Language
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Saturday, January 23, 2010 | Published in language, troll
Dear Britain,
Ok, just a quick question here. Why is it "maths" and "sport" when everyone in their right mind would say "math" and "sports"? Math, as a subject, is considered an umbrella term for all of the various brands of mathematics. Calling a class Maths makes as much sense as calling it Histories or Sciences.
Meanwhile sports, as a section of news reporting, typically covers more than one different type of sport. I know you Brits don't play any real sports, but I'm sure that you sprinkle in a couple of rugby and haggis hurling results in with your daily soccer scores. (And yes, it is called soccer. Suck it.) Calling a section sport makes as much sense as calling it Current Event or just New.
While we are at it, stop saying biscuit, boot, and lift when you really mean cookie, trunk, and elevator. And don't even get me started on how you completely misuse the words fanny and fag.
Please fix these problems in your fucked up language ASAP or we promise to elect another president who will royally fuck it up worse than you ever could.
Love,
America
P.S. Stop it with the unnecessary "U"s while you are at it. It is very inefficient and makes you look silly.
Ok, just a quick question here. Why is it "maths" and "sport" when everyone in their right mind would say "math" and "sports"? Math, as a subject, is considered an umbrella term for all of the various brands of mathematics. Calling a class Maths makes as much sense as calling it Histories or Sciences.
Meanwhile sports, as a section of news reporting, typically covers more than one different type of sport. I know you Brits don't play any real sports, but I'm sure that you sprinkle in a couple of rugby and haggis hurling results in with your daily soccer scores. (And yes, it is called soccer. Suck it.) Calling a section sport makes as much sense as calling it Current Event or just New.
While we are at it, stop saying biscuit, boot, and lift when you really mean cookie, trunk, and elevator. And don't even get me started on how you completely misuse the words fanny and fag.
Please fix these problems in your fucked up language ASAP or we promise to elect another president who will royally fuck it up worse than you ever could.
Love,
America
P.S. Stop it with the unnecessary "U"s while you are at it. It is very inefficient and makes you look silly.
I Am Not...
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Sunday, December 6, 2009 | Published in discordianism, irreligion, language, law of fives
I want to let you in on a little secret... I don't really exist. I know, that makes me sound crazy. If I don't exist then who is sitting here typing these words? Someone who is not.
I don't exist because existence implies a finished work. Existence means "to be". But I am not. I am becoming. I am changed from one second to the next. The mind is not a static being. Every new input changes the circuitry. At every moment my body is dying and being reborn. Every morning someone new is in my mirror. I will never be completed until I take my last breath.
Sacred Chao Te Ching, Chapter 32
Chaos cannot be labeled,
Because it contains all labels.
Therefore, all definitions are incomplete.
It's Gödels, all the way down.
Order and Disorder unite,
And Illusion slips into Chaos.
When people learn language, labels begin.
With labels, one should know when to stop.
Knowing when to stop, the wise spags see the Illusion;
And are free to create as they see fit.
Chaos cannot be labeled,
Because it contains all labels.
Therefore, all definitions are incomplete.
It's Gödels, all the way down.
Order and Disorder unite,
And Illusion slips into Chaos.
When people learn language, labels begin.
With labels, one should know when to stop.
Knowing when to stop, the wise spags see the Illusion;
And are free to create as they see fit.
Likewise no human can be contained in mere words. I am not the sum total of all of the labels that are attached to me. There is no box that can contain me. There is no program to map a person. There is no conceivable way to finish the sentence "I am..." I am not and I never will be.
RAW on Language
Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Thursday, November 12, 2009 | Published in discordianism, language, video
I just rediscovered this interesting clip on YouTube about Robert Anton Wilson and his thoughts on language. He does a good job of explaining e-prime, which is English without the use of the verb "to be". It's a tough speech pattern to pick up but can do wonders for your outlook on the world. When you stop focusing on what something "is" and start focusing on how it "seems" the less dogmatic your thoughts become. At the very least you get in less fights that way.
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