Brits, Explain Your Fucked Up Language

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Saturday, January 23, 2010 | Published in

Dear Britain,

Ok, just a quick question here. Why is it "maths" and "sport" when everyone in their right mind would say "math" and "sports"? Math, as a subject, is considered an umbrella term for all of the various brands of mathematics. Calling a class Maths makes as much sense as calling it Histories or Sciences.

Meanwhile sports, as a section of news reporting, typically covers more than one different type of sport. I know you Brits don't play any real sports, but I'm sure that you sprinkle in a couple of rugby and haggis hurling results in with your daily soccer scores. (And yes, it is called soccer. Suck it.) Calling a section sport makes as much sense as calling it Current Event or just New.

While we are at it, stop saying biscuit, boot, and lift when you really mean cookie, trunk, and elevator. And don't even get me started on how you completely misuse the words fanny and fag.

Please fix these problems in your fucked up language ASAP or we promise to elect another president who will royally fuck it up worse than you ever could.



P.S. Stop it with the unnecessary "U"s while you are at it. It is very inefficient and makes you look silly.

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