For those that are unable to watch Youtube video (or too lazy to sit through a three and a half minute long clip), long story short: some charismatic quack wrote an article in the Daily Fail saying that "molecules exposed to happy or loving environments form beautiful, symmetrical crystals, while those exposed to unpleasant influences are misshapen." Whatever that means. And to prove her point she talked nice to an apple for a week while also talking mean to another apple. Naturally the apple that had sweet nothings whispered to it was in better shape after the week is over. Wait, did I say "naturally"? I meant to say "stupidly". There is no rational reason for an apple to know or care what words you are saying to it. It doesn't even have ears ferchrissake!
Of course, every experiment needs to be repeatable in order for it to be considered scientifical so enter Rebecca Watson. She got an apple from the story, cut it into quarters, and placed three of them into jars (and ate the fourth). She is going to talk to each apple for a week to see if being kind makes them more beautiful and if being mean makes it ugly. Plus there is the control group: THE APPLE OF INDIFFERENCE. Each apple jar also go their own fake mustache, because, hey, fake mustaches are awesome.
This brings me back to my central point. Rebecca Watson playing with apples AND false mustaches at the same time! If this isn't a single to us Discordians that she is in our ranks then I don't know what is. Sure, she isn't throwing the apple at anything or snubbing anyone. And the false mustache thing is a very recent Discordian meme that has only been propagated by New