Top Ten Secret Provisions Added to Texas's Social Studies Curriculum

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Saturday, March 13, 2010 | Published in

As you may have heard by now, lately Texas's Board of Education has been debating their social studies curriculum. Since it is Texas you know that there have to be a majority of wingnuts on the board and they want to re-write history with a more conservative point of view. Thanks to a ChaoSkeptic exclusive undercover investigation, I have discovered some super secret additions to the new social studies curriculum that you won't find anywhere else:

10. "Joe McCarthy, Great American or Greatest American?"

9. Wall of Separation of Church and State officially the first one-way wall ever.

8. C├ęsar Chavez, Thurgood Marshall, Anne Hutchinson. All godless Commies that hated American and didn't do anything important in the first place.

7. New forensic evidence showing that after the fourth amendment James Madison wrote in invisible ink, "Feel free to ignore this if scary dark-skinned men start blowing up buildings."

6. Thomas Jefferson? Never heard of the guy.

5. General Lafayette called a "cheese eating surrender monkey" who ran away from battle during the Revolutionary War.

4. New chapter added to 8th grade textbooks on famous dentists of the Old West.

3. Confederate president Jefferson Davis, not that bad a guy after all.

2. FDR revealed to be a Manchurian Candidate sent into the future by Karl Marx, thanks to Nikola Tesla's time machine, in an attempt to destroy America from the inside.

1. Students now required to bow to a bronze bust of Ronald Reagan every morning.

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