Discordian Erister Sunrise Service

Posted by : Rev. Ouabache | Sunday, April 4, 2010 | Published in


Rev. Reinard: Thank you all very much for joining me for the first (of hopefully many) Erister sunrise services. Most of you we had to drag out of bed, kicking and screaming. And from the looks of it some of you didn't even bother going to sleep last night.

Please, LMNO, I understand that you are still in the partying mood but this is a residential area and there are people trying to sleep. Could you put the noisemakers away?

As I was saying, we are here to celebrate the beginning of a new...

Oh, Chloe, I say! Can you help keep Cramulus up? Ok, just sit him up again. Lean against him and he can lean against you. There, perfect.

Ok then. We are to celebrate the beginning of a new season. A season of hope and...

Nurse Mayhem, NO! What did I tell you? Dok Howl is not allowed to have any Death Coffee until after the service. I don't care. I am not chasing him into the woods again. I learned my lesson the last time.

Now, we are to celebrate the beginning of a new season. A season of hope and light. A chance for nature to renew itself just as the sun rises every morning.

What's that, Enki? Yes, I realize that the sun doesn't actually physically rise in the sky. I'm well aware of the general layout and physics of the solar system. It's called a metaphor. There's no need to be so pedantic about it... I say, there's no need to drag Galileo's ghost into this discussion. I fully understand the trouble he got into with that other pope guy but now is not the time...

You know what, screw all of this. I am going to Starbucks. You are all invited to follow if you promise to behave.

No, I don't think that they sell pebbles there.

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