ChaoSkeptic

Millions of people today are still celebrating the swearing in of President Obama and some are saying that his inauguration speech many go down as one of the best in history. However, the Discordian community sees it differently. With one short sentence Pres. Obama has declared War on Discord:

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

Many groups see this statement as both offensive and un-American. The Reverend Jim Reinard of America's United for Discord is quoted as saying:

This is a complete outrage. Apparently Mr. Obama has forgotten his history books. This nation was founded on Discordian principles. Would there have been a Declaration of Independence without discord? Would we have had a Revolutionary War without strife? And where would the Constitution have been if our Founding Fathers hadn't conflicted over the Articles of Confederation? I expect a full retraction from Pres. Obama in the coming days.

Meanwhile, Elaine Whipspittle president of the Discordian Alliance of Mothers has written a press release stating:

We at the Discordian Alliance of Mothers are appalled at Obama's resolve to strip our children of their fundamental right to be raised in the faith of their parents. Our religion is not "an introduction to terrorism", as Mr. Obama portrays it; to see how wrong he is you would only have to see the joyous look on a child's face as she places memebomb stickers on public property.

Not everyone is opposed to Obama's new front on conflict though. Central Scrutinizer of the Concordian Movement was quoted as saying:

Success on all fronts! At last someone has awoken to the insidious international threat of DISCORD and has dedicated money, manpower, and bureaucracy to combat this extremely precise problem!

The Obama administration was unable to be reached for comment at this time.

(Thanks to Nigel and Hoopla for their help)