ChaoSkeptic

I was so busy on Sunday that it completely slipped my mind that it was All Saint's Day. As you may or may not know Discordians have a tradition of canonizing people (both real and imaginary) that we feel best exemplify the Discordian virtues of Chaos, Discord, and Strife. This honor has been bestowed upon such varied peoples as Emperor Norton I, George Carlin, Ed Wood, Jarvis Cocker, George W. Bush, and Charles Darwin. Today I feel that the List of Saints needs to be expanded to include Ms. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, known to you Earthlings as Lady Gaga.


Now, you may ask: "Rev. Ouabache, why would you pick a dumb old pop singer to be a Discordian saint? Aren't there any half-witted politicians that are better at pushing the Chaos Buttons?" Sure, politicians are always fun to poke at but Lady Gaga has hit a larger (and younger) audience than any politician ever could. She is the perfect agent of Operation: Mindfuck. She is an odd combination of one part Xtina, one part Björk, and one part KLF. An extremely talented singer with a ridiculous sense of style that isn't afraid to fuck with her audience's sensibilities. And as The Vigilant Citizen has recently pointed out in a two-part series, she is puppet of the Illuminati who wields symbolism like a scalpel.


At the very least she deserves sainthood for her performance of "Paparazzi" at this year's MTV Video Music Awards. It is beyond my ability to describe the massive mindfuckery she was able to put into a 4 minute long dance number. The last minute of which still hits me straight in the gut and produces feelings of horrormirth that I previously thought were impossible. The fact that she was able to pull it off in front of such a large and luminous audience just boggles the mind.


So with the power invested in me as Holy Pope of Eris, the goddess of All Chaos, I dub thee St. Gaga of God and the Gays. Here's to hoping that Fame and Power don't go to your head and that you don't get fat and stupid like Britney.